Who to Contact or Whom to Contact? The Complete Guide to Using the Correct Version

Have you ever paused mid-email wondering whether to write “Who to contact” or “Whom to contact”? You’re not alone. Even seasoned professionals in business communication, project management, and formal writing sometimes second-guess this classic grammar dilemma. Choosing the right word matters—especially when you’re crafting polished messages, scheduling meetings, or updating your online booking page. It’s a small detail that reflects your attention to consistency, clarity, and professionalism—qualities that strengthen your brand and credibility.

In this guide, we’ll break down the difference between “who” and “whom” in plain English, so you’ll always know which one fits your sentence. We’ll also touch on how modern style guides (like AP and Oxford) treat these forms and whether there’s a regional preference between US and UK English. By the end, you’ll have the confidence to use each correctly—whether you’re writing a client email, updating a calendar invite, or drafting a formal business proposal.

The Quick Answer: Who to Contact vs Whom to Contact

Let’s rip off the bandage right away.

Phrase	Correct?	Why it’s used
Who to contact	Yes	Natural everyday English
Whom to contact	Yes	Formal and grammatically precise
Who do I contact?	Yes	Common conversational form
Whom should I contact?	Yes	Formal, object of verb “should contact”

Short rule:

Use who in everyday writing and speaking, use whom in very formal contexts.

You won’t sound wrong with either, but tone changes.

What Matters Most: The Simple Rule Behind Who vs Whom

English pronouns shift depending on whether they act as the subject or the object in a sentence.

Pronoun Role	Word Used
Subject (does the action)	Who
Object (receives the action)	Whom

Quick memory trick

If you can replace the word with him or her, use whom
If you can replace it with he or she, use who

Both “whom” and “him” end in “m”
That little rhyme saves lives. Grammar lives anyway.

The He/Him Test: Fool-Proof, Real-World Method

This trick works almost every time. Try swapping the word:

Sentence	Replace Test	Correct
___ should I contact?	Should I contact him?	Whom
___ is calling me?	He is calling me	Who
You know ___ I’m talking about	I’m talking about him	Whom
___ needs help with the report?	He needs help	Who

Example in action

“Who/Whom to contact for support?”

→ Replace: “Contact him for support”
→ It fits
→ Use whom in strict grammar

But… real people rarely speak that way in everyday life, so who to contact shows up naturally.

Formal vs Everyday English: Which Should You Choose?

Here’s the truth most teachers avoid: modern English relaxed, especially in conversation. Who survives mostly in polished settings.

When to choose who

Use who when you want to sound:

• Friendly
• Natural
• Modern
• Conversational
• Direct

Examples

• Who should I contact if I have questions?
• Who do I talk to about billing?

When to choose whom

Use whom when you need to sound:

• Professional
• Formal
• Academic
• Precise
• Traditional

Examples

• Whom should I contact for legal clearance?
• The representative to whom I spoke was helpful.

Tone table

Tone	Example
Formal	To whom should I send the documents?
Casual	Who should I send the documents to?

Notice the preposition to moved. Both sentences are correct, just dressed differently.

Common Mistakes and How to Fix Them

People get shaky because they fear sounding wrong either way. Let’s clear the air.

Mistake	Problem	Better
“Whom is calling?”	Using whom as subject	Who is calling?
“To who do I speak?”	Wrong pronoun after preposition	To whom do I speak?
“Whom do you think will win?”	Whom used as subject here	Who do you think will win?

Insight: Over-correcting to sound “smart” often backfires. Natural beats forced every time.

Real-World Examples in Professional Settings

Business Email Examples

Situation	Sentence
Asking for direction	Who should I contact for timeline updates?
Formal version	Whom should I contact to confirm delivery dates?
Customer support query	Who can assist with product onboarding?
Legal context	The attorney whom we consulted advised caution.

Job Application or Career Emails

Scenario	Sentence
Scheduling	Please let me know who to contact to schedule an interview
Formal	Please advise whom I should contact to finalize the meeting
Internal HR	Who can I connect with regarding onboarding documents?

Customer Service Situations

Need	Sentence
Urgent help	Who do I contact in emergencies?
Formal support	To whom should customers direct urgent concerns?

Understanding Preposition Placement

Old-school grammar says whom follows a preposition. Modern speech often breaks that rule.

Traditional	Conversational
To whom should I speak?	Who should I speak to?
For whom is this gift?	Who is this gift for?
With whom are you meeting?	Who are you meeting with?

Fun reality: Ending sentences with prepositions is okay now. Even universities accept it.

Mini Quiz (Answer Key Below)

Try these. No peeking.

• ___ do I ask about benefits?
• The person to ___ you emailed will respond soon
• ___ want to join us for lunch?
• ___ did you invite me to the seminar?
• With ___ should I discuss budget approvals?
• ___ submitted this report?
  ___ did the CEO choose for the project?
• The manager to ___ you spoke is traveling
• ___ solve this issue fastest?
• ___ do you think it was called earlier?

Answer Key

• Who
• Whom
• Who
• Whom
• Whom
• Who
• Whom
• Whom
• Who
• Who

Case Study: Corporate Communication Choice

A multinational company rewrote its employee onboarding email templates. They tested the tone.

Version	Line	Employee Reaction
Formal	“Please identify whom to contact for access requests.”	Felt stiff and bureaucratic
Conversational	“Please tell us who to contact for access questions.”	Clear, human, friendly

Outcome: They switched to who in internal communication. Productivity rose because messages felt approachable. Tone matters in modern workplaces.

Copy-and-Paste Templates for Emails

Use these forms in your daily communication.

Friendly Professional

Could you let me know who to contact regarding onboarding details?

Formal Business

Please let me know whom I should contact regarding this matter.

When asking for support

I’d appreciate guidance on who to contact for technical assistance.

Extra-polished corporate tone

Kindly advise whom I may contact for additional clarification.

For teams and departments

Who is the best person to contact for system credentials?

Key FAQs About Who vs Whom

1. Is it correct to say “Who to contact” or “Whom to contact”?

Both forms appear in everyday English, but “Whom to contact” is grammatically correct in formal writing. “Who to contact” is widely accepted in informal or business communication, especially in the US.

2. Why is “Whom to contact” considered more formal?

“Whom” is used as the object of a verb or preposition, while “who” is the subject. Because formal grammar follows traditional rules closely, “whom” sounds more polished in professional or academic contexts.

3. Do style guides like AP or Oxford recommend using “whom”?

Most modern style guides acknowledge that “whom” sounds overly formal in everyday writing. The AP Stylebook leans toward using “who” when it feels natural, while Oxford supports maintaining “whom” in formal settings or when clarity requires it.

4. How can I tell when to use “whom”?

A simple trick: try replacing the word with “him” or “her.” If it fits, use “whom.” For example, “Whom should I contact?” works because you’d say “I should contact him.”

5. Is “Whom to contact” outdated in modern English?

Not exactly. It’s still correct and used in formal communication, government documents, and professional correspondence. However, “Who to contact” has become more common in emails, web content, and business scheduling tools where tone is conversational.

Read More: Is It Correct to Say “Looking Forward to Working With You?”

Comparison Table: Quick Cheat Sheet

Use	Word	Example
Subject (doing the action)	who	Who sent the file?
Object (receiving action)	whom	Whom did you consult?
After prepositions (formal)	whom	With whom are you meeting?
Casual everyday use	who	Who are you meeting with?

Memorable Quote

“Good writing respects rules but never worships them. Communication always wins over perfection.”

Language moves with people, not textbooks.

Final Takeaways

If you only remember one thing:

Use who in normal writing
Use whom in formal situations or after prepositions
If you can replace it with him/her, choose whom

When in doubt choose clarity over complexity. Real communication beats grammar gymnastics.

Conclusion

In the end, knowing when to use “who” or “whom” isn’t just about perfect grammar—it’s about communicating with clarity and confidence. While “whom” remains the traditional choice in formal writing, most modern style guides accept “who” in everyday business communication. What matters most is maintaining consistency and ensuring your message sounds natural to your audience. So, the next time you’re scheduling a meeting, sending a calendar invite, or composing a professional email, you’ll know exactly which form to use—and why it makes a difference.